Tag Archives: thoughts

Eight Things I Love About Adam Sandler’s Magnum Opus, The Wedding Singer

I was a bit too young to appreciate The Wedding Singer in all its glory when it premiered in 1998. Like many in my generation, I caught the film for the first time several years later, when VH1 started airing a safe-for-basic-cable edit in between reruns of I Love New York. Aside from 50 First Dates, I had kind of missed the Adam Sandler boat, and what I had seen of his films was a bit too crude for my taste. But something about The Wedding Singer grabbed me almost immediately. Maybe it was the familiar backdrop of suburban New Jersey. Maybe it was the bitchin’ 80s soundtrack. Or maybe it was the fact that I was, am, and will always be in love with Drew Barrymore.

Whatever it was, this film, despite its problematic moments, has remained a favorite of mine. I’m a huge fan of romantic comedies, but I rarely ever find them laugh-out-loud funny. This movie has moments that still get me, mostly involving Jon Lovitz’s face. It also made a fantastic musical, which does not get nearly the amount of love it deserves and should be revived immediately.

So, in honor of the 20th anniversary of The Wedding Singer’s release, here are ten things I love about what is possibly the only worthwhile Adam Sandler film (don’t @ me).

  • Eileen Albertini Dow, who plays Rosie the Rapping Grandma, was 85 when the film was released. Judging by her IMDb, her film career didn’t really start until she was in her 70s and she worked up until about two years before her death (at 101!). She is my hero and proof that it’s never too late. Also, we are unfortunately not related.
  • This scene and The Perks of Being a Wallflower are responsible for my love of The Smiths. Also, I know we’re supposed to hate her but Linda is a total babe.

3.

  • “Somebody Kill Me” kind of shreds and is also the official anthem of every sad twentysomething on Twitter

  • Extremely Bisexual Lighting at the first wedding.

  • There are so many valuable relationship lessons in this film. For example, if your partner won’t give you the window seat on the plane (or the aisle seat, I respect your lifestyle, Aisle Seat People), DUMP THEM IMMEDIATELY.

  • Drunk Steve Buscemi. We have all been Drunk Steve Buscemi at one point or another.

  • One time I saw Alexis Arquette at Hamburger Mary’s in West Hollywood, living her best life at drag karaoke. I’m very sad that she’s no longer with us.

  • I am aware that most of Adam Sandler’s brand of comedy is just yelling at people, but it does work very well in this film.

Anyway, Happy 20th, The Wedding Singer. Enjoy your prime rib or fish.

Thoughts on Validation, Social Media, and Essena O’Neil

I struggled with this post. When every website and their mother (on Facebook) are covering a story, jumping on the bandwagon feels like clickbaiting. I had a lot of feelings about the whole thing that I wanted to share, but I didn’t want to sound like a jerk. Ultimately, I don’t know what this girl’s going through. But I had something to say. And y’all wanted to hear it, apparently.

Essena O’Neil is a content creator, primarily on Instagram, who you probably had never heard of before her video and new website went viral on Monday. I hadn’t, as her audience skews younger and I’m more of a casual user of Instagram (Instagrammer? IDK, I’m old). A few days ago, Essena decided to quit social media and move all her content to a new site, letsbegamechangers.com. For years, she sought validation through likes and followers. Her posts were perfectly curated to show her “living her best life” when she was really struggling. She posted pictures in dresses for thousands of dollars that never made her feel quite right.

I’ve spent most of my life comparing myself to my peers. In middle school, I thought the girls who looked great in Soffee shorts and played multiple sports and were actually able to straighten their hair had perfect lives. I felt inadequate in high school because I knew I’d never get into an Ivy League school. Even now I compare myself to people with better jobs, apartments, and more frequent flier miles. Instagram was invented after I graduated from high school and started to figure myself out. I can’t even imagine going through most of my childhood with the giant magnifying glass of social media.

There’s a huge lack of guidance on social media available to teens. Platforms grow and change so quickly that it’s difficult for even huge corporations to create best practices. People tend to take very polarizing stances on social media, particularly when it comes to young users. It’s a fun way for people to keep in touch with each other and share their lives with the world, yet we’re quick to damn it. It’s hard to find rational opinions in a sea of voices.

Essena’s Instagram account now reads “Social Media Is Not Real Life.” This is inarguably true. What you see of someone’s life on YouTube or Instagram or wherever is a curation of their life, the best parts of themselves. When you don’t see someone outside of a little box on a little screen, it’s hard to imagine them complexly. This isn’t that far removed from middle school me imagining the perfect lives of the girls in the Soffee shorts. I didn’t see them at home. I didn’t know what they were going through. I couldn’t imagine them crying on the floor because they felt like they looked hideous in every piece of clothing they owned. In this case, I think that Essena is doing something special for her young audience.

When you’re a content creator, you constantly have to reevaluate your goals. What am I trying to say with this blog post? Will this video help someone? Why am I sharing this photo? I will often catch myself considering a post that I know will get lots of traffic, but ultimately serves no purpose. Clearly, that’s why I felt weird about this very post. I felt like I needed to get my feelings on the virtual page, though, despite my lack of eloquence. It meant something to me.

Emma Gannon put it pretty damn well with this quote from her Medium article:

Social media is not to blame here. It’s up to us not to treat it like a game. Treating it like a numbers game will only end in tears. Chasing clicks will leave us hollow. Creating meaningful content that people enjoy will make the difference. Social media can be fantastic if we keep it fucking real.

I don’t think teenagers are dumb. They astonish me with the things they create and the influence they wield. But when you’re at an age where social validation is such a huge part of your existence, chasing clicks seems natural. Will it lead to brand deals/recognition/whatever the teens want these days? Sure, but it might feel icky after a while.

Make things for yourself. The views might follow, they might not. Just do what feels right.

Here are some people who had some more eloquent thoughts on this than I did:

Rosianna: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5Q-_2BHSYc

Lucy: https://twitter.com/meowitslucy/status/661710497520230400